The Wretched Age of 13

 

Heyo! Post #1 of my new blog, here we go! 

This first post is targeted towards one of the younger age groups that WTY covers; the young teens. 13, do be exact. 

The age 13 is a hectic one. I didn't realize it until coming out of it, but looking back 13 was when I had the most loneliness that I didn't know how to handle, it's when I first got smacked in the face with anxiety, it's when I was in-and-out of friendships, and it's when I was perhaps most paranoid about what people thought of me and when I thought the world was against me, basically. 

Now, not everyone's experiences are gonna be the exact same way. But most previous 13 year olds that I've talked to, and most current 13 year olds, can all agree that the age 13 was terrible. And that makes sense to me. 

13 is when you're just stepping into teenhood, which is just before you step into young adult hood, which is just before you step into actual adulthood. 13 is when you're body and mind begins to change drastically and quickly. 13 is when you're balancing between childhood and teenhood and don't seem to belong anywhere. It's really not a fun time.

However. There's a lot of beauty in it, too. 

13 is when you take you're first step on the adventure of growing up. It's gonna be a messy adventure, but really, what good adventure doesn't get a little lot  messy from time to time? It's going to be worth it, but you need to find the balance in it all. 

Here's some tips I have to offer in that regard.

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1. Not everyone hates you 

Seriously, they don't. They really, really don't. 

I know that can be hard to believe, and I know that you may even have a few bullies or people who treat you badly in your life. But it isn't everyone. 

There's people who genuinely care for you, or people who will if you give them the chance. You just need to give them that chance, and time. Friendships don't often form over night, and it takes time to get to know people. So find some kids, and make some friends. And please, don't assume that they're judging you, dislike you, humoring you, or anything of the sort. Innocent until proven guilty, right? Give people the benefit of the doubt, hard though it may be.

2. Your parents are your support 

I can't stress this enough. I know there's some exceptions when parents can be abusive, but unless you're in a position like that, you should really go to them through your struggles. 

My mom and dad were so encouraging and wonderful during that really stressful time for me. Like I said, 13 is when I was first hit with uncircumstantial anxiety. That anxiety led to depression. And both of those things kept me up many nights, and my folks would sit with me as I cried and rambled and was an absolute mess. 

They didn't have all the answers, but they supported me and loved me when I needed it very very much (and they continue to do this now). 

You may think they don't understand, that they won't be able to help, you may disagree with their methods of helping, and you may be afraid of what they'll think of you, depending on whatever is going on at the time. 

But they're your parents. And God gave them the job of taking care of you as such. And chances are, even if they're disappointed, or upset, or the way they try to help doesn't work, they are doing what they do because they love you. 

They're not going to be perfect, because they're human too, but they've been your age before, and so you should really go to them when you need help, encouragement, support, advice, and so on.

3. Don't worry about being cool

There's this quote that you might have heard before, it goes like this: 

"Be yourself, everyone else is taken" - Oscar Wild. 

You don't need to worry about fitting in, or being cool, or anything. This is the time when you start figuring out who you are, so don't be afraid to experiment. Play around with different styles and see what you like, talk how you talk, play what you play, be who you are. 

And if that makes you blend in, then you're a beautiful piece of a bigger picture. 

If that makes you stand out, stand out confidently. 

Neither of those things are bad, so it's okay no matter which one you are. Just don't try to be either of those things because you're trying to be someone else.

4. Get some good friends

I don't know about you, but making friends is something I have never been good at. So this can be really hard, but it'll be worth it.

When I was 13, I had a grand total of three friends, and none of them were very wise choices (well I also didn't really "choose" them. Being an introvert, I got "adopted" by extroverts). They were all fun friends, which is good, but two of them were also trouble-friends (meaning, you blink and they're doing something inadvisable and likely against some rule) and one of them just wasn't the kind that invested, while I always invested everything, and the friendship broke off after she moved.

And from that experience, I strongly advise you to keep good company. Find friends you can be quiet with, friends who care back, friends who won't get you into trouble, friends who are friends. 

5. Stay connected with God

Above all, don't stop reading your Bible. Don't stop asking questions. Don't stop praying. Don't stop. He is a magnificent support and guide (during all times, this time included), and you should stick as close to Him as possible. 

I know that the Bible can be confusing, that talking to someone you don't see can be hard, and that taking time to read and pray is difficult. But it's so very important, and so I strongly encourage you to pursue God above academics, above friends, above happiness, above all. 

And when you don't understand something, ask someone. Ask your mom and dad, a pastor, a friend, a sibling, ask God, even. There's no shame in confusion, and there's pride in overcoming it. 

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If you are a previous 13 year old, feel free to leave a comment about advice that you have for a 13 year old. If you are 13 and have a question or comment, please post it down below (if your folks are okay with you revealing your age, that is ;D)! 

And if you are a previous 13 year old who sees a current 13 year old commenting, please show them some encouragement and support. <3 

And that's the end! Post #1 done. I hope you enjoyed it! 

                

                                       - A previous 13 year old (aka, EJ)