Things That I Wish I Was Taught (Or At Least Taught Sooner) ~ Guest Post by Lavender Bleu!

 

Hey there! 

She's back! Returning for her second time to WTY, Lavender Bleu now brings us a post about things she wishes she was taught (or at least, taught sooner).
I think that a lot of teens have a list of things they wish they were taught, or they will. Maybe Lavender Bleu's post will teach you about a few things before you reach a point where you think "man, I wish I'd known that sooner" later on in life. 

Her blog is Always Write The Good Write, so once you're done here, pay her a visit! 

As always, you're encouraged to comment your thoughts, experiences, and questions here (maybe leave a comment about something you wish you had known sooner). Just remember to be respectful. :) 

- EJ

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Hi, it’s Lavender Bleu again, remember me? Yes? No? Well, I’m one of the guest posters on WTY, a blogger (obviously), and a lover of cats. Anyway, I’m here to share another guest post on WTY, this time about things that I wish my parents (or someone else) would have taught me, or taught me sooner than they did.

Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner

This is one thing that is really obvious. I’m guessing that’s why no one ever told about it. It’s taken for granted, perhaps. Hating people is not good. But people are sinners. They sin. Since we are called to love people and hate sin, the solution is not to encourage them, but keep showing them love anyway. Hate the sin, love the sinner.

You Don’t Have to Fall In Love

My parents are under the impression that I am going to have a boyfriend. Probably in the near future. I’m not really expecting to fall in love, despite the strong prevalence of married couples in my community, and in my church. For goodness’ sake, there are a lot of teens pairing up in my youth group. But that doesn’t mean I have to get married. It’s perfectly fine to not want certain aspects of marriage, and it’s OK to not have any interested in you romantically. Singleness is a thing that exists.

Don’t Overwork Yourself

My family has more of a “work work work” mindset. Working is good, but for a long time I was under the impression that life was work. You work through highschool, to work through college, to get a job to work until the end of your life. Working is not our purpose in life, and it’s surprisingly easy to burn yourself out when you need a break. Don’t be lazy, but do stop when you need to.

It’s OK to Not be OK

This is another really easy one. One of those things that everyone is supposed to know, but not everybody can actually do this. Sometimes it’s just really hard to be vulnerable and open up to people instead of bottling things up. But it’s worth it. You have to have some degree of intimacy with your friends and family if you want good relationships. It also helps you when they know when they need to take care of you.

C’s Are Average, B’s Are Good, A’s Are Great

School is hard. There is pressure in highschool to get good grades since your transcript is what colleges look at it, and it’s permament. However, while you should try to get good grades, there is no use in beating yourself up over a 73%. 70’s are average. Anything better than a C is means that you’re doing better than average. Don’t sterss yourself out over getting an 89% instead of a 99%. It’s not worth the emotional damage.

It’s OK to Need People

Being strong isn’t pushing yourself until you break. It isn’t about being the only thing that’s holding you together. Holding you together is God’s job. People want to feel needed, and while they don’t like it someone is being overly needy, if you feel like you need people, you probably do. Just be upfront and honest, and I’m sure they’ll understand. They might even enjoy feeling needed, too.

Cliques Exist

I faced cliques in middle school. It was unpleasant. No one meant to be in a clique or to exclude anyone, but that was just how it rolled. You found your group and stuck with them. Then in high school, some of that mentality stayed, but it was also looser. It was more fun to mix and mingle and include everyone in bigger activities for some strange sociological reason. Either way, cliques are not fun to encounter, and my parents never really mention them. It’s like they don’t exist to them or something.

Jobs For Teens Are Often At Odd Hours

Cleaning jobs often take place in the evenings. Since teens have more free time and flexible hours than adults, they end up taking jobs that have odder hours. Janitorial work and babysitting tend to be this way a lot.

It’s OK to Indulge Sometimes

you’re obviously going to want to save up to buy a car, and a phone, and make it through college if you want, but it’s perfectly fine to just buy something for yourself because you want it every once in a while. Don’t put yourself down trying to reach for the future above.

What is Actually Harmful About Screens

Honestly, it’s only the light they emit and the content that you view. There are so many things that you can do on screens, that it’s hard to gauge healthy versus unhealthy screen usage. You should definitely stop when you’re addicted, or consuming inappropriate content, but if you’re using screens to healthily interact with other people and do productive things, then I think you’re good.

What A Passion Is Like

My parents never really talked about what their passions were. I ended up kind of blundering around, trying things out until I finally asked a relative. In short, it’s something that you love so much you want to spend the rest of your life doing it. And you just know, deep down in your bones that this is what you were made for.

Literally Anything LGBTQ+

My first experience with LGBTQ+ stuff was through the media. Over time I figured some things out, mostly because of Google, but I never was able to rely on my parents as primary sources. It’s just a topic that’s never talked about in my house in a way that encourages discussion and debate involving scripture that is not one-sided. I think that it’s the parents’ responsibility to teach their kids about stuff like that so when they go out into the world they’re not taken by surprise.

You Can’t Take Care of Others If You Don’t Take Care of Yourself

A wounded hero cannot save anyone else. You will only injure yourself and the victim even more if you try to help them while you’re in bad condition. This is true physically and emotionally, as well as spiritually. If you’re hurt or hurting, you need to be extra careful to need exceed your limits and/or hurt anyone else. It’s hard to see through pain, and accidents can be fatal.

How to Listen to God

Another thing that I’ve never been taught, or even talked to about. I’ve heard about from some other people, from songs, and books, but it’s apparently one of those things that they don’t teach you for some reason. Even though it would be immensely helpful, as I am still trying to figure this one out. So far all I’ve got is along the lines of testing out a path and waiting to see if the doors close or open.

Mental Health Is a Thing

Mental health awareness is an issue where I live. It probably should have been more of a core part of the health curriculum that I did for school. I didn’t realize how many mental illnesses there were until I found an interest in psychology. I also didn’t know how common they were, either.

How to Safely Let Out Emotions

I learned how to “backpack” my emotions (I feel things very strongly and it’s been an issue), but never how to take them out and deal with them in a healthy way. Once I put them away, I just never bothered to take them back out… And how to let out and deal with emotions isn’t exactly taught in school, either. I’m still figuring things out.

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These are things that I pretty much had to figure out by myself. It may be normal for parents to not teach their kids some of these things, or vice versa. Personally, I think that these are things that should be taught by parents. They don’t teach it in school, and I doubt most people would want to know that their children are learning these things the hard way, either from the internet or first hand experiences. Parents need to be aware of this, and as future adults (and some of us being future parents, as well) we need to remember this sort of thing for when we are entrusted with our own descendants.

Until next time.

-Lavender Bleu

 

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Many thanks to Lavender Bleu for coming on WTY again. She certainly raised a subject that I think everyone, especially the youth, can relate to. 
Is there anything you wish you had been taught (or taught sooner)? I'd love to talk about it with you below.

Thanks for reading! 

- EJ